La Journée d'Oscar

Bloody Monday

2010-08-16T09:47:00.002+08:00

In all sense of the word, Mondays were never meant to start in any nice manner. Wonder why Monday has to be the day that everyone hates to wake up to.

The work piling over the weekend, the reluctance to bid farewell to the weekend (short and very often too packed with activities). The fact that weekend is another 5 days away (AGAIN)... just too much to bear.

Anyway, coming to work was a breeze, literally. Starting up the computer was as usual slow and not very responsive. Then, there... the blood suckers spamming your mail box just like how those mosquitoes did last night in bed sucking the life out of me.

Not a very pretty sight on a Monday morning. In fact, the more I think about it the angrier I can probably get. Patience is running low and I am flirting with the thoughts of alternatives.

One can never be too comfortable.

Now let's look forward to Tuesday.

整理好心情, 重"心"出发!

2010-08-10T17:10:00.002+08:00

过了年多,经历了许多,也算是有点成长吧.

有些事,这部落格没机会帮我记载,当初是我无情,不忘旧情便离去.但想想看,又舍不得把它完全放下.

在网络中寻寻觅觅,突然又回到原点.就好像重遇老友那想上前紧紧拥抱着不放的冲动.好想一五一十的全说出来,把这一年内所发生的事好像洗过的衣服一样晾出来.

我回来了!

有始有终

2009-09-14T22:30:00.002+08:00

有好的开始必然需要有好的结束。

也许是时间寻找另一个寄托了。

当我坐在这里做着一些无聊又不关我的事时，边做边想着几时可以上床睡觉。

那躺在床上深呼吸，可以凝听着周围的声音，慢慢地入睡，准备迎接下一天的疲惫。虽然工作并不累，一整天坐在电脑前是会有点疲倦的。

种种的理由让我决定离开这网页，在这宽阔无边的世界寻找更适合我的一片天。

离开适应后的环境必然是见难办和不自在的是事，但活着就是要改变，因为世界是不会为了一个我而放慢脚步来等我。

或许我会回到这里，或许不会，让我们有缘再见吧。

升

我现在就好像是吊在半空中，失灵的缆车。

2009-09-07T21:26:00.003+08:00

虽然路途中的风景优美，坐在车厢内也算是蛮舒服的，我却情不自禁的望着外头的景色和事物，脑海里漂浮着无限的生机。不坐在这里是的时候能在外头做些其他的什么呢？不被四面墙包围的时候，在矿阔的空间上又能做些其他的什么呢？没有坚定的信念或生活中的理想和梦想确实是过的很辛苦，很痛苦的。

看着身旁的人似乎很努力地往着他们的人生目标前进着时，我却只呆在这原点默默地期待自己生命中的使唤快点浮现。可能现在就是我开始付出时间和精力换取金钱和生命掌控权的时候。没有好的开始又怎么能铺好前头忐忑不安的路？没有先吃苦又怎么能享受之后的甜头呢？我想像中的理想工作其实也不能算是工作。一份工带来的是闪亮亮的金钱，美好的前途，和一堆的权利与权力。我要的确实心灵上的满足，相信着生命是可以简简单单的过着，平凡中制造出一幕幕多姿多彩的生活片段。

读了 ”稀游记“ 那27位勇敢，放弃这里一切的新加坡人飘洋过海道21个不同的国度寻找属于自己的天空，我呆在电脑前问自己是否会有一样的力量去实现自己的梦想。当别人问我梦想是什么时，我却无法回答。我的人就是这样，我不知自己要的时什么，但只知道不要的是哪些。我想⋯⋯这也是寻找自己梦想的一个方法吧？如果活到七老八十的时候还找不到，回头看的时候又后悔年轻时没有尽力的去实现当时拥有的梦想和理想，那不是很没用与极端的可悲吗？人生不像是电影中的情节，不是一两个小时就看完，不是别人编写出来的戏，而是自己用双手创造出的。当电影结束走出戏院的时后便回到现实，恢复自己男女主角的任务。

我到现在已经是无话可说了。觉得最近说话的声音越来越大声，越来越急噪。

想着⋯⋯也该是时候放慢脚步来体验自己的生活了吧。

Love this song as I feel it dearly..

2009-09-01T21:59:00.001+08:00

是谁从我天空摘走了星星
一转眼眉头聚满乌云
从来快乐悲伤都自己横行
忘了我也值得被关心

一双手一个梦
一路上不断的俯冲
痛到忘了要怎么喊痛

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想要拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹

是谁将阳光都剪成了雨滴
天灰了，快乐总有限期
从来都陷在孤独的流沙里
忘了我也配被人在意
一个人一直走看着梦像做了又空
精疲力尽有没有哪里可以停泊

漫长的寂寞淹没我的难过
我的世界是零下的沙漠
其实我也想有拥抱的温柔
融化这颗坚强的泡沫

漫长的等候让人特别失落
锋锐寂寞把天空都割破
还有谁能够紧握着我的手
陪着我期待消失的彩虹
那是谁的温柔留在我的小手
微不足道却那么重

漫长的寂寞把意志都吞没
整个世界是沉默的漩涡
有谁能陪我手牵着手出走
带我离开空洞的星球

还有什么值得追求
还有什么可以拥有
把怀抱借给我是不是就不再颤抖
有谁能带走这美丽的哀愁
能让我相信被爱的理由

Numbers

2009-08-31T21:22:00.002+08:00

This is the two hundred and eightieth post.

Was looking through the previous posts trying to find a decent photo to replace my current display picture over at Facebook... but saw other stuff that stirred some emotions and resurfaced some memories.

Bittersweet moments I would say.

The number of posts decreased significantly compared to those in 2007 and 2008 (amounting to thousand plus per year) but only 280 from the beginning of the year of 2009 till now. Like many other stuff in life, when there are new stuff in life, the old ones get neglected, no?

Spider webs and cobwebs... here's a spring cleaning session over at blogger..

升

Happy Birthday Singapore!!

2009-08-10T21:29:00.002+08:00

It's the birthday of this tiny island home again! An annual affair with millions of others celebrating this joyous occasion. And of course, every year this time, I never fail to have this surge of patriotic sensation that is so overwhelming the moment they start singing those NDP songs.

Whether the snippets of "i love Singapore" message or the songs that scream out loud cheesy lyrics... it all adds up and this year, I find that the parade is very different. In fact, very heart warming.

Yet a particular point in the show, I felt a little depressed. The part where the kids come together and complete the sentence of "when I grow up..." (no, not the PCD version of that)

Got me thinking a little about what I really wanted to do "when I grow up..."

And then, thinking about it. What do I really want to be when I grow up? I kind of forgotten what I wanted to be when I've grown up.. and at the same time, I have forgotten that fact that l am still growing up, and this is going to be a recurring question. Hopefully by the time I am old and going, I wouldn't still be asking myself this question of what I want to be "when I grow up".

what we lose, we may not find....

2009-08-09T01:55:00.002+08:00

Perhaps it's the time now that makes me emo. or maybe I had too much laughter in the day that now it's time for the laughter to be claimed back to the rightful owner. It's been some time since and I thought I have gotten over things that once bogged me down.

Certain people do not change, for better or worse... they simply remain who they are. That by right should be a good thing, only until the fact that it's for the worse and you know that for the time being and the years to come, there probably isn't going to be a change and that no matter what you say or do, life's going to be the same. With or without the person around. I have never seen someone like this in my life before, and this broadens my visions to the different kinds of people in the world. I've always believed in diversity, and everyone has his/her history that leads to who they are today. The time is/was wrong and I am never there at the right time. I am not really the right person even. Like mentioned somewhere in the virtual world people, I know the right people in life, but AM I the right person for others? It barely seems so... this may sound like a brutal attack on my self-esteem, but really it's hopefully a stage of life that I get past. Many years down, it still probably is going to sting me like it did and it does, well at least it probably is going to be a lesson in life.

Every now and then, I have this impression that I have a second chance in life, but grown to realise and not quite ready to accept the fact that there ARE no second chances. When people say they care for you, it's for that moment and remains there and then. Not a second later, not a minute past. Any words or sentiments felt are temporal and probably change the very next moment. Same for myself, when I say anything to anyone, it does not necessarily apply the next moment. That's how exciting life is, isn't it? the unpredictabilities...time to really grow up and to learn. No one else can do that for me except myself. To learn to accept what's lost and gone. Embrace the present and what's to come...

I have suddenly lost my vision and have placed doubt in many things in my path. Not too sure where it goes and what it leads to. Who's going to be there and who's there now. What may happen and what do I want to see happen. It's timely for this long weekend so I can take a break and sort out my thoughts. Do what I do best and sort out my issues and problems. That's how a guy does it anyway right? To remain by himself and straighten out all the diversions that he encounters in everyday life. It can really bug you and hold you back... not everything's prim and proper, black and white in life. I feel like I've been blabbering and beating round the bush it's getting tiring.

I am going to bed now. Gd night and happy birthday Singapore. You are truly where I belong... as I probably never get a second chance of living my life once more, I learn to appreciate the little miraculous moments I spent with those around me here. Not a fan of reminiscence and nostalgia, I will attempt to block out those emo-ments.

人总是会情不自禁的想起来

2009-07-28T21:53:00.002+08:00

有事没事的时候，在床上休息时，在厕所上大号时，或者走路回家，看电视，吃饭⋯⋯都会想。几时放几时收，几时开口几时闭口。几时坐几时站，做人就是那么烦，做什么时都必须想。能想并非是件坏事，也不见得是好事⋯⋯在我身边便有几位因想太多而便得有点不可思议，所讲的话和做的事都惹人讨厌。令人刮目相看。之前认识的人跑到哪了？被自己想像中的恶魔吞食了吗？还是在自己的脑海里迷失了方向而做出不可理喻的行为？我也不大清楚，好久好久以前我已决定不让这些烦人的七情六欲和无聊的感触阻碍我活个精彩的生活。到了这一刻，人生也还不能算是精彩吧，但还不赖。

对于熟人事一套，对于陌生的，又是另一套。自己又如何来应付陌生人的咿咿呀呀呢？当成耳边风吗？还是把些不顺耳的话听进去，把它转为推动力来激发自己之前还没发现的力量呢？我最近面对了一个难题。有点不知所措，有点沮丧，也有点对失去了自信。想啊想，也不知要等到几是，等到多少个春天后的努力奋斗才会感觉到成功，胜利。时机到了，之前所定下的目标达到了，又对谁有好处呢？自己看到，感受到的，别人会刮目相看吗？还是带回之前的有色眼镜？人生中的也许也许让我们想到脑儿都暴了还是会永远想不通下一步会发生什么事。什么人会说什么事。别人会把塌下来的天空当被盖，我呢，有可能会痴痴地站在那被压死。死了后还不知死因是什么哈哈！

如果还剩一口气的话，应该就会省下来告诉身边的人一声 “谢谢⋯⋯再见“

在这当儿，就鼓起勇气勇敢地走下去吧。身旁有没有个人陪伴着，眼前有没有双手带领着也不重要。自己走得高兴就行了！

We're never satisfied

2009-07-27T00:22:00.002+08:00

The never ending search for that one thing.

Until then, everyone will just be grumpy and grouchy over the status quo.

Good night and good bye weekend. Cya next week.

the many different sides..

2009-07-14T22:59:00.002+08:00

Who do you see when you look into any reflective surfaces? Many times, of course yourself but do you ever find that at different times of the day you actually don't look like you? Perhaps the hair is parted differently, or your eyes seemed a little more puffed than 5 hours ago? Maybe it was the itch that left your left ear slightly red from the scratch..

For me, I see a different side of me each day. The stereotyped "can't be bothered" Desmond, the "I am tired and need to rest" Desmond, the "what am I doing here" Desmond... the list goes on. Similarly in life, the people in our lives are mirrors, or at least, reflective surfaces. They see a bit of us, perhaps only a side or two... some privileged ones see a few more sides, the "morning-oh-so-ugly" side, the "I-go-crazy-at-the-club" side and perhaps, the "I-am-upset-and-emo" side... same, the list goes on. What I'm trying to say here is, it's all these small small bits and pieces of life that make us US. When people ask for a self-introduction, how do we, and what do we tell them? What constitutes us? I'm not too sure myself as if I tell them I'm a reserved, quiet and down to earth person, I cannot forget that at times, I get so loud and unbashful about things in life. If I say that I'm loud and the joker-wanna-be, I cannot ignore the passive and can't be bothered me.

Myself, as a mirror of others, I see bits and pieces of my friends, of my siblings, my parents... and last night. I saw someone in my dream that sadly, I could not see again.

I don't know what led to me having such a dream, a good, and yet bad dream all in the same stride. Couldn't recall the beginning of the dream, but the main event that took place in it was the death of my paternal grandma. I've never seen my grandpas before. Both of them passed away before I was born. My maternal granny passed away 19 years ago. I was P1 then. I had vague memories of her... but I knew she doted on me. My paternal granny on the other hand, passed away 15 years ago. I was 11 then. I knew more, had more time with her, shared more memories with her... the new years that we spend visiting her at my uncle's place, and seeing her aging and becoming more frail as the years go by and as her grand children growing up and finding their place in the world... it did not occur to me that she will leave. Then again, she moved on. I was depressed. Yet at the same time, I treasured the time at the funeral. It was a family gathering. A time where my cousins and I ate together, prayed together, and even played together.

15 years have passed and I'ven't had anything that remind me of my maternal granny. Last time, I revisited the scene. This time, she passed away again. This time, I'm not longer 11 but 26 instead. I am sure she would be proud that I am finally a local University Graduate. I remember saying to my parents during the funeral, looking through the obituary and my relatives' names... running my tiny finger down the list and saying..."no ... no.... no .... Mummy, all of them never graduate from local university".. I want to be the one who make you proud. The one who will make us, as a family proud, that we have three local graduates of the Ee Family. My granny would be proud of me to know that I made it. Maybe that was why she resurfaced in my memory. When she last saw me, I was nothing more than a pre-teen. Someone unaware of how the world out there revolves... This time round, I'm half an adult, stepping into the world. I don't know much about her, and she didn't know much about me. We never had much chances of interacting anymore. But somehow, I know, she feels my joy, my relief, my pride and all that came along with my commencement. I know my parents feel the same. I know my siblings feel the same too.

Thus, it really didn't matter to me that my friends were not there. Somehow, I knew that it was the highlight of the day. It was about them being there. It was my day. A day I begin to really look back at what brought me thus far and what drives me to go further. They say the end point doesn't matter, but the journey. I took wrong turns and wasted time en route. I gained, and I lost. In the end, I got here. People may not be there anymore, but it's the memories that stay. It's the memories of them that you retain and recreate that make them there again.

I teared in my dreams, I felt the sadness of 15 years ago. This time, it was worse. I woke up, let my tears flowed off my cheeks onto my pillow, and another stream. Might as well let it all go while I was given the chance. Wondered why this happened at this time when I really haven't been thinking about things like that. Nothing in particular sparked off such thoughts and definitely nothing in particular drew back memories of my granny. Until my commencement perhaps. I would say that I never really grew up in an environment that I know people very well, and have someone whom I can call mine. I was and am not possessive, knowing that the more you hold onto someone, something. The faster you lose that person, and when you do. The more it hurts. This leads to my nonchalant behavior, or at least I would excuse myself that way. MY granny.. how much can I call her mine when I barely reflected a segment of her life? How much can she claim to know me when she really didn't know much?

It's all so fuzzy in life that at times, we give up trying to find out how we are all in relation to one another. For one, I know the coming days are a fresh start, and I need to start paving my own route again to the ultimate end. I don't know how many more times I am going to cry in my sleep. So far I've done so twice. Once when I was young (perhaps 8 or 9?) and once... last night. Each time perhaps, they reveal my insecurities of my life that only I know of. I wouldn't even say it's "for me to know and for you to find out" cos' truthfully, I'm not interested to know if you want to find out or not. It's my life, not yours. Whether you know it or not doesn't matter to me.

In the ultimate end, we are still going to be alone. When our time is done and our presence is gone, what's left of us? What's going to be left are those fragments of our lives reflected by those around us who once experienced how brilliantly it shone. That's why they have "a few words" segment in funerals to share with everyone how the deceased was.

I'm not thinking about, or even planning death. Just a random blog entry after a very random, emotion-evoking dream.

Tomorrow, I'll wake up being the same "old" me. Which old? I'll decide again =)

怎么了.....

2009-07-13T23:16:00.001+08:00

窗外阴天了音乐低声了

我的心开始想你了

灯光也暗了音乐低声了

口中的棉花糖也融化了

窗外阴天了人是无聊了

我的心开始想你了

电话响起了你要说话了

还以为你心里对我又想念了

怎么你声音变得冷淡了

是你变了是你变了

灯光熄灭了音乐静止了

滴下的眼泪已停不住了

天下起雨了人是不快乐

我的心真的受伤了

somethings in life just get you thinking

2009-07-10T22:26:00.002+08:00

Us human beings start pondering over BIG things in life when we are inspired by events, people, things or simply feelings that strike us when we least expect it. Along that line of thought, I started to feel a little insecure and wondered how things could be turn out and may possibly be affected by what I do now. You know the old tale of chain reaction where one thing leads to another, or the "Butterfly Effect" where you "change one thing, change everything".

Well anyway, was just heading home after work and saw two people, two strangers actually... and that got me wondering what had happened to my youth and where it all went to. We live from day to day, always taught to look forward and live for the future. So much so that we forget to live today. Forget to live yesterday. Where did it all go to and why did it go away? And yet, didn't what we do last time lead us to where we are today? It's all linked, and yet at the same time... they're as distinguished from each other as oil and water, black and white, male and female... the list goes on. Youth, almost certainly never going to return. Should we turn into green eyed monsters cursing those who are in the 'prime' of their lives? The physical prime years? Or should we be proud and contented of ourselves for being in the financial 'prime' of our lives? Perhaps the enticing independence that we've longed for all these years has finally arrived should leave a sweet after taste? It hasn't thus far for me. I always feel different from others. I don't get as many friends as others who care, I was never the 'star' of the show. No, I don't ask to be the star. I just don't want to be the backdrop. Many times, perhaps due to how I view life due to certain past experiences, I end up being where I don't want to be.

Why such a long winded way to say what I don't know deep inside? Perhaps the disorientation led to this long-winded blog entry. It just goes round like karma. Good and bad, distinct and ambiguity... things come in pairs. Youth vs. Age... where will age bring me to? Where does the road lead to and what's there waiting for me? Perhaps I'll never know till I'm there. But when I'm there, will I look back and regret, wondering if I should've taken another route? Never will one know how best could the other routes be unless presented the options. In life, we don't really have that many other choices we know. We think they are there and based on that imagined perception, we choose what we think is best for us...

Perhaps, just perhaps... that was the one and only choice. Human beings are good at imagining... the ability to think and ponder, to wonder and perceive. Yet all are subjectively shaped ... to each his own (paradigm)

What's good for me, may really be bad for me. I'll never know.. till I'm told. Then again, who's to judge and comment? It's really quite tiring when thinking about such stuff. No wonder I never really spend my time doing these sorts of stuff.

================================================

Working life has changed my view on time management as well as priorities. Living a rather monotonous (some say scheduled and disciplined) life. Doing the same things, seeing the same people, going the same places... how long will this last? I might have taken a step in this too quickly and deeply. Where was the search for passion and the search for interest? Where was the think slowly and ignore what society impress onto us? What happened to the time that was spent wondering what should be done after graduation where after graduation, life's already been planned and cast in stone?

Anyway, I've made plans for the near future. Something to look forward to in the meantime. I do enjoy my work, making a slight difference to people's life. Seeing that people appreciate what I do is a bonus. Not committing silly mistakes is another. Moments of folly that surface once in awhile make me doubt my (in)ability. In any case, I'm contented at where I am now. Maybe it's the anticipation for the first payroll in the coming week that has me feeling a little hopeful. Is that what keeps all working adults motivated at their workplace? That one day that you see your bank account chiming resoundingly... the magical day that life seems miraculously wonderful and promising. I've yet to see it.. but I'm sure I will one day. That one day is coming. I can so feel it...

Suddenly fleeting

2009-07-06T19:53:00.002+08:00

Somehow us human beings can appreciate the presence of emotions, whether they are positive, or negative (a matter of subjective perspectives certainly). The entire process of brewing, stirring it in almost predictable rhythm and beats, is as excitable as the end product itself.

It was just a very ordinary plain Jane Monday this morning when I woke up but as the day went by, seconds ticking and gone, I started to feel this anticipation building within that threatens to spew out like spirits out of those possessed characters in Hollywood demonic films.. had to bite my lips and clench my jaws for the sake of not attracting penetrating stares in public transport.

So, what am I so excited (or going to be excited) about?

1) it's my first off day for my first official full time job
2) it's my graduation tomorrow and I am the king in my own empire
3) it's the day where I can be in the company of my friends again
4) it's the official mark of the end and the beginning of another life

Any of the 4 above applies, and at the same time, it's possibly the cumulation of all 4 factors that create this restlessness within.

I actually came home, put down my bag at the usual place in my room and headed straight to the walk-in wardrobe to try on my gown with the executive wear, all for the "whole image" that will be revealed on stage tomorrow. All for the big day tomorrow. Some fleeting thoughts came through and by - "OH this button is revealing amidst the sea of blue", "Oh no the strings on the mortar board are not of the same length!", "oooh the gown practically hides all physical flaws and for that one day everyone can no longer feel pressured to walk/ sit with their bulging stomaches sucked and held in.", "this peachy colour goes well with the white shirt and the skin tone, but what color tie should I wear to go along with it?"... the list goes on and I shan't bore you all with it AS it's my business and now of you are there to see/feel it. No I'm not bitter about it as it is obviously clear that not everyone is still as free as a student these days. Not applicable at least to those who are my age group now. It's the sad but salt-sprinkled-on-wound painful truth.

Well, that aside, I am still looking forward to sitting among those who feel the same as me... probably sitting through the ceremony looking at individuals with oversized gowns and mortarboards, who potentially may trip over their laces or shake the wrong hand of the GOH, or taking the wrong step first on the stage and end up walking awkwardly across the stage (It's a good thing where it's not military style and one ends up marching with the same-arm-same-leg syndrome). At the end of that, photo taking (where most people can't wait for) with close ones and not-so-close ones. Acquaintances and those who know your darkest secrets... even those who used to dislike you for not contributing enough during term assignments. All those displeasures dissipate and all's well again (at least for that few moments).

==============================================

I have two terrapins actually. Just got them yesterday, in fact it has been ages since I own any pets. For one, my mum hates the idea of having pets (especially dogs and living things with fur: read mess in the house). So, I only had a chick when I was a toddler (which I killed after repeatedly throwing it away from me as it repeatedly hopped back towards me).. I had 2 terrapins after that which lasted me for years.... (since they survived the throws) but ended up in horrible death when they grew too huge and had to be brought to my dad's office to be reared. They got killed (eaten) by rats that ran around the office... gruesome i know. Well, I thought I would give plants a try. Had cactus (named Ozzie) that was brutally murdered at my friend's place after it got knocked off (what..? 13 floors!) but well, it survived and re-grew... (phew). then I had some indoor IKEA plants but they did not last. Withered and died like those wild flowers growing in the drains under the unforgiving Singaporean summer sun.

So back to the story of my two terrapins, I've yet to named them, but supposed keeping in mind "terror" (the female who is over active and pun with "Terra") and "pin" to rhyme with "病", the male who has been sleeping (eyes wide shut) the moment since he came home with me... he must be really afraid of the new environment and traumatised by Terror. He's been sleeping in all angles and all conditions that I think he's sick. Maybe he's as excited as his owner, but, he's starting to look a little sick. Non-chalant perhaps? Some say you are non chalant because the world has turned its back onto you and you do the same. Others, just had some experiences that really shut them off.. wonder which applies to my "pin".

==============================================

Speaking of appearing aloof and non-chalant in front of others, something just occurred to me while I was preparing dinner. Was speaking to my dad about the difference between Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Social Sciences (Hons) and well, just as I was about to complete my 2nd sentence, my elder sister called out and spoke something from her room, my dad immediately turned his back on me and walked away answering to her call. My family has to learn how to listen.. to give undivided attention for those who speak... my dad gives but only to one individual.. my mum, likes to interrupt, and my siblings don't usually listen to the complete exchange of words...

Myself? I adapt by listening selectively and not speaking unnecessarily. Why bother to speak when no one's listening right? That's perhaps what has shaped me over the years into the current me. Getting used to the silence and the misled perceptions from others. During occasional gatherings, the non stop chattering and noise fade away and the excitement dies off.. fatigue sets in while embarking the quiet and lonesome journey home, it always happen, doesn't it? Well, of course if you have someone who's going to listen to you waiting at home. That certainly is going to change the way life is.

Alright, enough of my blabbering and it's time to take a break. Rest like Sleepy Pin.

感觉有点⋯⋯

2009-06-28T23:12:00.002+08:00

不知為甚麼，今年雖是老一些，感情上應該有些平穩，不應該被身邊的周遭事影響。

也還是情不自禁地悶悶不樂。想了些不高興的事情。

還以為人到這年齡也學會了怎麼處理人生不愉快的時候⋯⋯平時不想的卻慢慢會浮現起來。

也由不得我來決定。

我期待30的到來。期待生活美滿充實的一刻。期待自由到來的那一天。但有可能，30的時候⋯⋯我還是會有今天的感觸。想法也有可能不會改變到。人只能往前望前。期望和盼望，希望和等待改變。又有我們幾個可以順利的獲得自己尋找的那個春天呢？

幾時才會看到藍藍的天空，白白的雲⋯⋯還是必須等到（真的）花兒都謝了？我們人生還會有幾個春天呢？

不想了。還是要熬過來的，就不如樂觀一點，微笑地面對迎面邇來的苦難和苦惱。

多25分鐘，又老一歲了。

发升：生日快樂。

Waiting for the bus in the srizzle

2009-06-24T18:18:00.002+08:00

I am pretty sure the emo weather has rubbed off some of its troubling affairs of the heart onto me. Just suddenly felt emo thinking about things and looking at people walking past... It's been almost a month since my first step into working life. How many more steps are ther before the end of the road?perhaps no end?

I saw a NUS shuttle bus go past and pondered about the first time I took that shuttle service. Some times in life when the stage is over it's just over. Nothing can bring it back no matter how hard you attempt.. Like the gripping sand analogy... The tighter you try to hold onto something the faster it escapes from you. Guess it's only right that all of us look and move forward. This is the countless time I'm writing stuff of this nature till I m a little sick.

Whatever darkness that looms overhead, (how apt the bus lights were just switched on, yes I am on the bus to gym), light is not far. Even in the darkness we'r not alone. Hold on, hang on and find the inner strength to move on. My problems may be insignificant to others but may mean the world to others... Each of us have a set of principles of dealing with things, with life... Mine's as such.

Grumble grumble and it's done. Dun like to nag. :)

out :X

So many random thoughts

2009-06-14T22:22:00.002+08:00

Recently there have been many random thoughts going through my mind... to the extent that I think it is disturbing my rest. I have been waking up in the middle of the night (to do random stuff like pee, wake up to check that the window is closed so that rain won't seep in, to make sure that my toilet lights are off as well as the corridor ones)

Whether life threatening or meagre details of life, I kind of can't help but not rest adequately. Yet, as I shared with some, the typical week goes something like this:

Monday energetic for work and at after work...
Tuesday same as above
Wednesday same as above sauf the less energetic part of the evening sleeping as early as 9p.m.
Thursday a little hard to get out of bed in the morning and slightly dragging my feet to the bus stop
Friday harder to wake up yet motivated by the thought of 5.30pm, ends up sleeping at 2a.m. or later
Saturday waking up early due to the sudden opening of eyes, spends the entire day out and ends up home late at night
Sunday waking up early and crossing my fingers that it will be sunny spending the day at the pool in the sun for the entire day till the night falls dinner and then back home to prepare for day 1 to come all over again

Of course this wouldn't be the case for the rest of my working life (I wouldn't allow it to be)

I have been busy/ away from my friends for some time and I think it is time to start getting familiar again! You people should stop hiding in your caves and under your blankets!

:)

台湾之旅2009

2009-05-28T00:04:00.003+08:00

那我該從哪裡開始呢？就從最後一天開始吧。往事只能回味嘛，不是嗎？
不知道為甚麼今年台灣之旅感覺上和去年的有點不同。當然旅伴是不一樣的人，但我想想看，也應該會差不多吧。仔細想想，也應該是因為去年逗留的時間比較短，也沒像今年一樣的認識了幾位新朋友所以體驗便有點新鮮。

嚴格來說，被逼瘋的時刻比好玩的來得多。那一些我已經解釋的應該明白吧⋯⋯但還是蠻有趣的。擁有許多機會談天，多瞭解其他人生活的方式和觀念。有精力卻沒能力⋯⋯有錢但沒時間⋯⋯有機會還是沒能力。就好像只被捆綁著的野牛，想要瘋也不能。到了今時今日我還真的沒有想到還會有那麼保守和被動的人存在在這世上。真是有點難以自信。匪夷所思。

我回來過後都在想念我的創冰，我的巧克力黑森林創冰，我的草莓創冰，烤玉米，花生泡泡冰，玉米牛奶泡泡冰，芋頭糕，泡沫紅茶，奶茶。我超愛的電視廣告，經典的pose⋯⋯每晚”康熙來了“的經典笑話與臉部表情。”大學生了沒“的勁暴主題。超贊的美景和友善的台灣人⋯⋯有自律的捷運，很有規律的生活步伐。大概就和我們在這的大不同吧。那也該是吸引我們出國的理由吧？

回到家還在想⋯⋯有奶茶的日子該多好。還故意下車買泡泡茶呢！故意的去吃創冰。但是感覺就是不同⋯⋯

想要看我們所拍的照片，前往我的Facebook網址瞄兩下吧⋯⋯

年底，我的心癢癢⋯⋯好想去香港喔⋯⋯

I've never really...

2009-05-12T21:17:00.002+08:00

I've never really liked going for Chalets.

Since the first time my sister had brought me to a chalet (well, to one that I did not know anyone), I have never really enjoyed every bit of chalet.

This is not to say that I detest going for one. In fact I just went for one yesterday, and after so many years since the first, I have came to terms with chalets. Well, it's just the parting that irks me. Having fun, chatting, all the laughter, the bbq food, booze, sweat, smoke.. it all adds up to the highlight of the night. Yet the following morning when daylight breaks, all seemed to have faded away like the darkness giving way to the warming sun.

So, after last night's chalet at ECP with my Soci Hons classmates, I would say that times have really changed for me. I no longer come to be affected by partings. Perhaps I've grown, matured to understand that it's only natural that people part ways once their fates in life differs. Crossroads no longer intertwine...

One way I've learnt to deal with partings, a rather selfish one (but nonetheless self protective), is simply to leave before all the fun ends. To leave when 90% of the fun seems to be passé and leave the 10% to those remaining... that way, you leave with your heart and mind brimming with all the sweet memories of the night.

It's funny (ok, not in that sense) how I've come to be part of a group of people whom I've never really met in the 4years of my NUS life.. Started out with only 1 or 2 friends in the class, now most of the entertaining updates I get on facebook comes from this bunch of people. Yet of course, certainly, all good things came to an end and we see each other no more (at least till July 7th commencement)... even then, the day will be chaotic and how plausible will it for everyone to come together for one last shot? emo emo emo...

well, put on a smile and let the rest fade away. :)

Need a break...

2009-04-28T23:02:00.003+08:00

My last stretch in NUS has barely started and I'm feeling the anticipation building up... need a break soon though I'ven't really been doing much.

Weight is pouding up and mass is faltering. Feeling the fatigue as the bloody (how apt) mosquitoes continue to bug me thru' the nights. Why oh why?

Anyway, with Facebook around these days, seems like blogging is losing its popularity...

well, times do change.

interested??

2009-04-13T22:31:00.002+08:00

anyone interested in taking part in this with me?

it's e national runway skating and cycling at Paya Lebar Runway.

for Safra members it's free. can choose from the categories below:

Leisure
6km skate
6km cycle
15km skate
15km cycle

30km Skate (competitive)
45km cycle (competitive)

It is on the 21st June 09. PLAB 8am.

oooh next new toy.

2009-04-12T21:16:00.001+08:00

We have to be sociable.. so...

2009-03-27T23:16:00.002+08:00

do some online visiting!!

Here's my fellow soci hons classmate's (in the omg-what-is-she-wearing!!!) pet and that's mine in the nerdy specs.

On memory.

2009-03-27T18:25:00.002+08:00

"Architecture provides the stage on which we can enact our lives. Memory, however, creates a special relationship with space holding on to the essence of it, the best and the worst, letting the rest of the details fade into gray" (Bestéa 2004:1).

hmmmm

2009-03-25T20:02:00.002+08:00

I just did it out of fun and boredom and well... my photo got chosen for the Noise Showcase 2009.. :)

and which photo is it? just a pretty normal, ordinary one of sun set.

apparently, it is showcased at Far East Plaza Level One (the one at basement) till 29th March.. maybe I should go down and take a look. hehe

if interested, you can go to Noise Singapore website and look at the showcase items.. this photo is i think page 16 or sth in the photography section.

hehe

Singapore Biathlon 09

2009-03-22T17:43:00.002+08:00

Ranking: 699/ 1255

Bib No: 7292

Name: EE HUAT SHENG, DESMOND

Category: Men's Open 2

Wave: 3

Swim: 0:38:25

Check 1: 0:46:33

Check 2: 1:17:51

Run: 1:03:33

Finish: 1:41:57

And that, ladies and gentlemen, my first Singapore Biathlon.. not exactly an impressive set of results but hey! pretty decent for a first try hur? hahah... at least i'm in the faster half.

beat my target timing of 1h45min

=)

When the dust sets in...

2009-03-16T17:59:00.004+08:00

We can tell that good things come to an end like the song goes 'flames to dust...lovers to friends...'
Well, another way to tell if something has prematurely ended its lifespan or well, simply under utilised is through the layer of dust that settles on top of it.

Rather obviously, the 50kg dumbbells and barbells in the gym are not touched.

(not sure if the dust can be seen... pay attention to the darker book.. it's clearer.)

similarly, as I was looking through the shelf to find some books on women and Pakistan, I happen to gloss over a corner of the shelf, aptly positioned at the bottom left corner.... One whole collection on Women and India. I can see that this is an area not widely researched in NUS. hehe

Such findings while doing research. Isn't it interesting at times what other things you discover while learning academically?
I'm so going to miss student life. :p

Anyway, about students... this conversation with my P5 tuition kid took place earlier today.

about implicit and explicit meanings.

Me: If I tell you directly to get me some food, what is the hidden message in this sentence?
Him: erm.. you want me to go somewhere?
Me: ok... how about ok ok ... when do you eat something?
Him: erm... fried rice?
Me: WHEN... not WHAT
Him: oh.... *ponders*
Me: Ok how about drinking? when do you feel like drinking water?
Him: OH!....... Just now.
Me: *peng & laughed like crazy* ok ok.. I mean... you drink water when....
Him: got water lor
Me: ARgh. ok forget it. You drink water when you are thirsty, so you eat when...
Him: My mother asks me to.
Me: ARGH. ok. explicit message is go get me some food. implicit hidden message is I AM HUNGRY. Understand?
Him: *silence*......
Me: never mind...

and this was what came out of the session

wanted to...

2009-03-10T21:33:00.002+08:00

Feel so drained and yet when I was about to go sleep, I thought of the deadlines coming up. And back to the computer for work...

and after reading an article from MyPaper, about the death of the NTU student, speculated to be due to stress, the journalist wrote about one factor that made life passable for her. Stress tolerable...her friends.

Well, indeed... there'r those who suffer with me at this moment. filled with deadlines and assignments. With research to do and with blank pages meant to be filled.

argh. off i go to meet my best friend MsWord.

:)

SINGAPORE BIATHLON 09

2009-03-08T19:59:00.006+08:00

Yeah on the 7th March 2009, I finally became a biathlete. A newbie biathlete who did not have any idea what to do on the actual day. It felt a little like an abbatoir, collecting swim cap and race bib, championchip... moving on in line to the next stage where they ink your 4digit (read 4D) code onto your left and right arms, and then moving on to the transit area where you leave whatever you are going to run in/ with after the swim in this bow with your 4D at a corner.. measuring little less than 30x30cm (or maybe that size)..

Then at 8am, it started. Mens Open Flag Off 3. Dark clouds above and light drizzle falling. Nonetheless we went off. Into the sea and against the elements. It was initially easy to manoeuvre but after the first turn I seemed to be drifting off to my right, thus tried hard to keep closer to the cordonned off area. After another turn, the final turn, it was a tough leg back towards shore. Against the current and having little idea where the buoy is... when finally I got out of the dreadful waters, heart was still pumping a little harder than usual.

Put on my already wet shoes and socks (thanks to the rain), singlet and shorts and went onto the 10km run. Turning left towards the hawker, did a u-turn and headed the other direction to the end of ECP at the SAFRA chalet area. It was actually encouraging to see the 7km mark and I was still feeling energetic. Pressed on and surprise surprise.. ended the running leg with not a least bit of short breathness. I was mistaken about the finishing line, thought I had to go back to the hawker area and do a u-turn towards the finish but actually we didn't have to. Darn, shouldn't have conserved my energy. hahaha

Oh well, since it was my first biathlon, I set a target of 1hr 45mins. 65mins of run and 40mins of swim.. ended up, my swimming was completed around 38-39mins and running, the other 1hr +. The time on my watch when I finished?

and a little shag look after the entire event.. haha

And a change of clothes... with my 4D still. :)

The front of the medal (in my opinion)

My sister commented that the woman on the medal looks a bit ugly.

and the back...

and the back... hahaha

这个星期六就是我的第一次。

2009-03-02T13:23:00.002+08:00

最近遇到了几位朋友，也能说是有好一阵没看到他们的。一个告诉我我看起来比较老，而另一个对我说我看起来很憔悴。眼袋好像很大一样⋯⋯有可能是因为我最进都是两点多才睡觉。身体没好好的休息，隔天便照样去拼。所以呢，我从昨天开始便在十二点之前便与周公会面。

也许我这几晚都有看一些灵异片，所以我昨晚就连续做了两个关于灵魂的梦。也说不起来有多恐怖，但不是那些会心惊胆跳的。还蛮好玩的，但最好就是不要每晚都这样。不然的话我的眼袋真的会越来越严重，就和电视上的广告一样，要乘搭德士时吓死司机。

也不知何故，最近就好像没有什么推动力，读了书和做的功课就好像没做到一样。到底是怎么了！我好期待五月份的到来，至少可以不必想着学业和功课。一天到晚都在想着有那么多功课还真的是有点累！别的是都做的有心没力。知能坐在电视和电脑前自我陶醉⋯⋯

好了，还有两个小时便要去后港教补习。在多四个小时便要载姐姐回家然后去东海岸教多一个补习至九点，现在先去睡个觉。下盘棋。

one of those days

2009-02-25T23:25:00.004+08:00

It was one of a kind. Until you get another of it.. then again, it is never quite the same to begin with.

I always think that rainbow comes once in a rare while and you really do not get to see them very often. The last one before the previous post on rainbow was like years ago. In this life, as I mentioned, only about 5? That's an average of one per year. BUT this year, 2009, I've thus far caught two. And both are within school compounds.

I'ld like to believe that this is a positive sign... of some sorts. Love, career, school, life... whatever.

Pity I wasn't in the mood to make any wishes at that point in time. No one does that? I don't know... maybe people only wish to shooting stars and birthday candles.. but me, I would jolly well make a wish to someone slipping on a banana skin! C'mon... how often do you actually see that? hahah

and here's my soci enthusiast who's equally lost in time and mood for work suffering with me in school during term break.

Everyone gets excited at rainbow(s)...

Isn't it a wonder?

2009-02-24T19:01:00.003+08:00

The sheer fact that we all remember things and recall certain points in our lives bears true testimony to this mystifying entity that exists within us called memory. I am currently attending a module called "social memory"..

Pretty interesting so to say, providing insights to some layman questions and well, others satisfying the intellect's appetite. Watched certain films that seemed emotional, sentimental... others brimming with nostalgia. Mourning for the lost past that's gone with the wind. Hmm, more like hidden by the undergrowth it seems. So aptly, a programme on tv reflected the same issue on the last kampong facing the imminent destiny of destruction.. (A point aside - know how to prevent things from being destroyed??? keep it under construction. So long as it is not completed... there is really no point in destroying it) According to one of my readings, the revisiting of the past through nostalgia and the sense of loss that we face now is a negative criticism of the present. How we have "lost" the innocent days of running barefooted chasing chickens and playing five stones... vs. that of clicking away with our fingers (most do the tapping and flicking thing on plain screens nowadays) on the buttons and absorbing ourselves into the 13" or 15" virtual reality... sure thing our interpersonal distance may have grown further or closer depending on your very subjective paradigm but well, it is most certainly affirmed that our tiny island is headed in the direction that none would have previewed say 50 years back.

Even the days of my dragon headed playground or birdie playground with tunnels and merry-go-rounds (nowadays deemed as far too dangerous for the fragile kids) are gone. as far as I know, I was told there's one of the non-existant mythical creature left in Toa Payoh. Not that I will visit it since I have practically no memory of being in Toa Payoh when I was young. More appropriately, I should go to Tanjong Pagar, where the playgrounds were already changed to those that were much safe to our bare feet on soft landings (but very soon after rubber melted thanks to deliquents and holes sprouted out all over). I should perhaps revisit the open-aired playgrounds at Wisma carpark.. or perhaps Yaohan at Plaza Singapura. Or maybe... the dimly litted café at OG Chinatown for a heartwarming banana split session I shared with my mum.

Places certainly change and some are never the same. What I used to recall about them stays fresh in my mind... as fresh as how I want them to be. But as I place them in comparison to what's going on in reality, they pale. To the extent that it fades away... in years to come, PS3, XBox, PSP will face the same fate as my dear Nintendo, Sega GameGear and Mario Bros. The beginning of electronic recreational activities that marked the end of simple pleasures that sprung from imagination and creativity... and this beginning that will come to an end in no time. The cycle continues and well, what can we say about those memory that were never shared? What about those things that were shared by groups of people that were never publicised? Lost for good or for the worse?

I'm not being emotional or nostalgic here.. just reflecting on our current way of life... positioning my ontological self in tandem with what's going on.

Alright... back to readings.

oh my oh my

2009-02-21T13:57:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I've done it.

Must have been outta my mind when I still felt sick.

If you see me on TODAY or Newpaper, please keep that article for me or inform me.

Wah...

2009-02-19T20:52:00.001+08:00

My cousin and sis asked me to go for this.

http://5.mediacorptv.sg/articledetail.aspx?kw=events&iid=MDC090216-0000001

hahaha I don't think I'm up to it really. Plus... I don't see a breakthrough in 2009 for myself. hahaha

We'll wait and see... it's this Saturday.

cough cough

2009-02-16T22:01:00.001+08:00

The haze is killing me. dry eyes. dry throat.

Gosh.. *cough cough*

First time I'm actually affected by the haze. Feels so horrible. argh

Blush

2009-02-16T19:28:00.002+08:00

Something really funny happened yesterday.. was at Vivo and was leaving. Friend bought Cleo at the MRT, the issue on the 50 most eligible bachelors. She went to pay and I was loitering behind. then, the auntie (aged 40+), held onto the magazine and even removed it from the plastic bag to take a closer look at the cover and myself.

Apparently, I had been mistaken as one of the hunky models. Well, obviously I don't see the resemblance (like since when am I that hunky) only possible resemblance lies perhaps in the tan and (some friends say, the smile)...

She even got her colleague to come out of the storeroom to look at me and she scrutinised me a lil', all while 4-5 people were waiting in the queue curious about the nature of commotion.

Phew... i think i blushed while trying very hard to exit Cheers aqap (as quickly as possible)...

hahahaha couldn't stop laughing and subsequently smiling to myself. This is actually very hilarious and i swear the auntie made my day. Maybe she's very short sighted or other eye problems. But I shall take it as a compliment! hahaha work harder and perhaps one year I'll be listed.

:p

Apparently, the one on the left. (people SEA games medalist... me... nah..)

Nature's magic

2009-02-04T18:40:00.003+08:00

On the trip back home after a tiring day (well, I've been tired for the past dunno how many weeks), I felt the magical healing power of Mother Nature. Afterall it delivers this sense of nostalgia straight within you. How many times do you actually see a rainbow in your life? For myself... roughly about 5 times as far as I can remember. One most memorable one was out in the sea when diving at Tioman. The next most impressive and "complete" one would be today's.

At times I feel...

2009-02-03T19:44:00.002+08:00

Despite the brave front and the I-can't-care-less and at times over-the-top-insecurity (usually academically related)... I feel like a coward at times. Entertaining thoughts that could possibly bring my life to another stage, another level and imagining the future of 'what could be' and well, at the same time looking back at the 'what could have beens'... and yet, often failing myself and barring further actions from mere thoughts.

well anyway, why is there no emo background music when I am reflecting and writing this as compared to the television shows? Where is my emo music player?

I want my emo music.

sobx

2009-02-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

When am I ever going to have some money?

19:43

2009-02-02T00:09:00.002+08:00

Well basically this is the time where the day is really at its end and the commencement of the chilly, windy night. Where the sky appears to be in a mélange of blue and grey, and the dim street lamps flicker on to light the streets with warm shades of yellow amidst the shadows of the swaying leaves...

Sitting by the bus stop waiting for the bus...

What I like about CNY

2009-01-26T20:07:00.004+08:00

Well? what's there not to like?

Sleeping and waking up late on the eve and first day... watching tv and eating snacks/ mandarin oranges... collecting ang baos.. seeing cousins and relatives who I really seldom meet up with.... not having to worry about school at all. Cheesy but jovial tv programmes and songs... the sounds of mahjong that mimicks that of the fire crackers, speaking of which were really kinda short but were quickly covered up by the sounds of the fireworks at the point of count down. Recession recession...

Well, once again, a very happy chinese ox year to you guys out there!!

Family shot

River Ang Bao and random photos

2009-01-25T21:08:00.009+08:00

Entrance to the River Ang Bao...

Our skyline..

Just a shot on our tallest hotel.

I din particular like or dislike this year's river ang bao. Just preferred previous years' one that were located at the war memorial area near Padang across Esplanade. With carnival rides and bumper cars, with the crowd squeezing... this year's one on the floating platform was just kind of... sparse. Anyhow, have a Good and Joyous and Healthy Chinese New Year! Watch your waist lines!!

It's all about me!

2009-01-21T00:23:00.002+08:00

Next time you walk along the streets, maybe you'll see yourself!

When can I do my work?

2009-01-19T00:07:00.000+08:00

I have my work to finish by tonight hopefully and as I was starting on it...

Mum: come help me lay the bed sheets!

10 mins later as I was just getting along...

Mum: Come eat Yu Sheng!!!

And eat I went.. followed by really getting down into the mood of writing and..

Sms comes in....

Sis: Can u come down to lobby and help me carry some things up?

ARGHX

Nervous. Excited. Scared.

2009-01-15T22:07:00.002+08:00

The 3 words above basically summarizes my feelings about the 7th March - Singapore Biathlon.

Brrrr... getting cold feet.

"White Gloves"

2009-01-14T21:41:00.001+08:00

"...it seems as though the only way he could let go of something he loved was to make a complete break..."

What I do online...

2009-01-06T17:50:00.004+08:00

I visit my pet in Pet Society...

I see it asking for food..

Bring it go shopping for food.

Feed it with what it wants to eat..

And make it run for its life to earn me coins to buy it stuff in return.

Now you know what I spend my time doing online.

CNY light up!

2009-01-03T23:22:00.003+08:00

For those who did not managed to head down to Chinatown to mix in the crowd... i'll be updating soon with photos so yes, in case you never get to go down (or not intending to go down)... here's a preview...

akan datang.

When people are making resolutions...

2009-01-01T12:09:00.003+08:00

5...4...3...2...1....

2008 had been a blast!!! (with some miraculous hindsight gained over a night of blasting music and throbbing headache from some drinks).

Till now, I woke up and felt hungry. Had to tidy up my table and one thing to do was to clear my calendar of 08 which was standing tall on my table. Picked it up, looked at all the small notes written on it and felt a little nostalgia brewing within. (actually I only started making notes on it in May and since then, became a habit to start planning and organising my life)

Glad to say that this late-groomed habit stuck with me and till now, it guides me over to a new year. When all out there are thinking of what to accomplish this year, I, on the other hand, recollects pieces of memory from the past months and days. Emo perhaps, but I guess we can't always just move forward without sparing a thought for that which has been left behind (whether by force or by chance).

Anyway, a beautiful sight greeted me as I opened my eyes at say... 11.42am?

Have a Happy Brand New 2009. Time to google for some 'breakfast'.

Fully booked!

2008-12-31T00:56:00.001+08:00

Plan tomorrow.

tuition from 9-12 at home.
gym from 1-3 at mt. fab.
tea buffet for MJ's birthday 3.30-6.
dinner cum x'mas meetup @ bishan 7-9+ (?)
countdown @ vivo (?)/ st. james (?) 10-late.

I'm so going to be begging for rest at the end.

Happy New Year u all.

Never had a day like this before.

2008-12-29T22:12:00.003+08:00

Had half-boiled eggs and iced milo for breakfast, went back to mop the floor and some house-husbanding chores... and at 2.30pm, started my long day.

Headed to the gym for some exercises with my sister's fiance.

First did Squats, 3 sets of 10reps of 50kg, with an additional drop set being 3reps of 60kg, 5reps of 50kg, 7reps of 40kg and 10reps of 30kg.

Moved onto lunges with barbell overhead, 3sets of 10reps per leg.

Next, Hamstring exercise which I couldn't really get the hang of. Needs serious work there. Ahem.

Did with the machine instead and slightly better:
3 sets of 10reps per leg. Weight 4kg. With the last set being 3reps of 3kg, and 7reps of 2kg.

Next, it was chest exercises...

The lower chest, 3 sets of 10reps of 30kg.

Mid-chest, same.

Upper chest, same.

Lastly, was abs, with 2 sets of 30 reps of crunches, followed by 2 sets of (5 leg raise to the middle, 5 leg raises to the left, and 5 leg raises to the right... ) and then well, not too sure of how you would describe the exercise but straightening legs, and opening up a V and closing it for 5 reps at about 30cm off the ground, followed by 45°, 5reps. and 90° 5reps. followed by lifting butt up with sheer abs strength for 5reps.

That was it!

But I added a 10laps breast stroke after.

Went to had fish soup dinner at Tiong Bahru with a yoghurt dessert.

Reached home at 6pm and left to meet friend for swimming training at CCAB.

Swam a good 2km i guess?

Warm up of 300m close-fisted front crawl,

200m with pool buoy.

5 x 200m of which I did 4.

and lastly, 10 x 100m of which I did.... 4 also. hahaha simply too shag from the gym earlier on.

Now, I'm all ready for a good night's rest.

A First...

2008-12-25T23:08:00.002+08:00

After dinner, I took a slow walk down Orchard looking for Cheng Tng, among the crowd, there's only one thing to do. Not to let attention stray and be distracted by the christmas lightings and the crowd... just to keep walking and walking, bearing focus on one thing.

After about the few months that have gone by, it's a first that I felt the simple joy and satisfaction of having company down a busy street... after having walked in the crowd alone most of the time. Well, but of course good things come to an end as long as the clock ticks and time slips away right? Festive joys are made-believes, they don't last and it stays that way... As long as you cherish the moment and savour the bitter-sweet after taste; nothing else matters right?

Anyway... not much presents but definitely some presence.. who says I'm materialistic?

Merry Christmas mes amis.

Have a jolly end-of-year festive mood.

Festive joys

2008-12-24T18:39:00.001+08:00

As everyone's out celebrating with whoever they are with... it's a good chance to wish everyone a very merry christmas 08 and happy holidays!

Will find something to blog about in this gloomy weather.

hehhe
Have fun!

Luv,
Des

words... and the beauty of tunes

2008-12-16T22:59:00.000+08:00

In a manner of speaking

I just want to say

That I could never forget the way

You told me everything

By saying nothing

In a manner of speaking

I don't understand

How love in silence becomes reprimand

But the way that i feel about you

Is beyond words

Oh give me the words

Give me the words

That tell me nothing

Ohohohoh give me the words

Give me the words

That tell me everything

In a manner of speaking

Semantics won't do

In this life that we live we only make do

And the way that we feel

Might have to be sacrified

So in a manner of speaking

I just want to say

That just like you I should find a way

To tell you everything

By saying nothing.

Oh give me the words

Give me the words

That tell me nothing

Ohohohoh give me the words

Give me the words

That tell me everything

Oh give me the words

Give me the words

That tell me nothing

Ohohohoh give me the words

Give me the words

That tell me everything

Still feeling

2008-12-11T20:44:00.003+08:00

Very often it's feelings and emotions that get us down. More downs than ups usually...

Many times as well one reminds oneself that one should control and regulate so as to be a master of one's emotions. To be self-contented and not swayed by circumstances or people. But then again, how successful can we be?

All (good or bad) things come to an end, so why later and not now? why sooner and not later?

Anyway, it's just a random emo evening.

Things will get back to normal once the sun shines again tomorrow. (if it shines and not pour like mad like it did today).

:)

2008-12-10T22:47:00.003+08:00

2 routes to be working towards.

First, 7th March 2009, Saturday
Singapore Biathlon (1.5km swim and 10km run)

and...

next, 30th May 2009, Saturday
Adidas Sundown Marathon (42.195km)

生命.梦想.爱情

2008-12-08T15:55:00.000+08:00

生命，只有一回！

梦想，不会只有一次！

错过的爱情，只要肯回头，还是有找回心灵相印的一天……

Savour the pain and pride

2008-12-07T14:23:00.001+08:00

First 21km of my life..

Results: Given the lack of training.. Not too bad la hur? hehehe

Tis' the season to be...

2008-11-30T21:23:00.003+08:00

THE time of the year is coming!!

and this time round, as I drive around our sunny/rainy/erratic weather island, I noticed it's not just the season of giving, nor simply the season of sharing.

Not just the season of care but as well, this is the season of training and running! With the Standard Chartered Singapore Marathon less than 7 days away, there are hoardes of people jogging along the busy and not so busy roads...I myself will have to be training more this week while giving myself ample rest before THE day itself. This will come in handy since the exams are finally over (then/.....will be over, I mean)

Anyway, one more season that I definitely cannot miss and that's the season of shopping! Well well well, apart from shopping for others since it's the season to spread your love and care for your friends and loved ones in the form of material gifts (gasps), the sales definitely make life (and pockets) a little less painful! Well, let's recap, there was the Arena sale from 26 -30 November, there was also the 2 days sale from New Urban Male where 20% off items on 29th and 30th Nov, there was a closed door sale for Tangs, there was SITEX (which I did not go), and erm... WingTai Asia had discount 30% off regular priced items as well that ends today! (upon presentation of printed voucher).

Gosh. That definitely would have burnt a huge hole in my pockets.
Hmmm, and it's barely December.

Anyway, Singapore Biathlon Swimming Trial (7pm, 3rd Dec, Wed), SCSM (7am, 7th Dec, Sun) and Zoukout (6.30pm to late, 13th Dec, Saturday)...

here I come.

Ahem, now can someone get tomorrow's final open text examination out of the way?

Excuse me, Merci

Picture: Taken just when the traffic lights turned green at Tanglin Road heading home. See the electrical Christmas Tree on the building?

My name

2008-11-29T01:28:00.002+08:00

Went to fetch my dad and was the journey home, was just asing about my cousin's chinese name cos' not too sure if everyone knows but the guys in my generation have a particular middle character - 发.

so some of the names in the family -
发祥
发强
发玲
发平⋯⋯

and then he told me that some guy in China who did a read of the Family Ancestral book unravelled a list of middle names for the various generations. And that of my dad is 代 meaning his name would have been 余代和. but my grandpa that era uses dialect so it became 余大和。and my grandpa (whom i have never met before)'s name should have 赤 as the middle character.

And my generation, by right, shouldn't be 发but instead, according to the book, it should be 振.

KAO..

I think the word 振 is way cooler than 发. imagine my name is 振升.

余振升⋯⋯ worlds apart.

Yawns

2008-11-27T18:16:00.002+08:00

Took one day off and did nothing. Nothing (constructive) at all.

Woke up, ate. watched tv and went back to sleep. Now awake and going to eat dinner soon. Afterwhich Tv time and perhaps sleep again.

yawns

Sunny weather = Good Mood

2008-11-25T17:54:00.002+08:00

Only when you have completed one headache inducing examination in the morning and spent the afternoon studying at the pool before the onslaught of the wild kids splashing water at 5.

Got my dosage of Vit. D today and feeling up there already.

high like a bird..

Cool.

2008-11-24T01:33:00.000+08:00

http://www.fresh-n-french.com/

Didn't know this until just just now where I served Facebook and saw on my friend's link. :)

Things it can do.

2008-11-22T21:58:00.002+08:00

The wonder of coincidence (and fate?)...

Dad's flying off to China on Monday and dinner plan was initially tomorrow, but brought forth to this evening. Decided to head to Ivins for dinner (I did the reservation after a sudden though struck me when I was napping) and well, after some conflicting ideas about dinner plans, we eventually headed there for some peranakan food.

Just as waiting for dinner to be served, we shifted table to the one next to ours as well, it was though to be warmer.... and after some time, a new group came in and sat at the table in front of mine. Here comes...

A friend whom I haven't met nor heard from for a year plus? and yup, came sitting at the next table with his friends. A decently close friend from army BMT who went overseas after army for studies. It's quite amazing how people can just 'bump' into one another when they least expect it. Well, life's after all filled with surprises and they are good when they happen right? Unless well, when shit happens. Then you have smelly surprises that sticks to you. haha alright, drifted away there.

Anyway, fulfilling dinner (and that was my first and last meal of the day) after having exams in the morning. What do you do after completion of an exam paper in the morning that you feel have been done rather satisfactorily? Reward yourself with a swim!! Did not really head to the pool this week due to school and exams, so it was good to once again study in the sun for 3hrs followed by a 30laps.

Had to do this as a form of training 'cos in 1.5 weeks' time, I've a time trial to attend at Mt. Fab Safra cos' I signed up for the Singapore Biathlon 09. 1.5km swim (30 laps) and 10km run. Well, we have to set some plans for ourselves once in a while right? This is something to look forward to.. First Standard Chartered in 2 weeks' time and then next March, biathlon. Yup, for the time trial, have to complete 30 laps within 40minutes. Today's timing was roughly 30mins (+/-)... next time round I'll bring a watch.

For now, take a short rest and back to studying movements. Social movements for that matter.

Gosh

2008-11-20T21:15:00.003+08:00

COE AT $2.

Now am I going to get a car within these 2 weeks? How often does this happen?! The last time it occurred was 1997 where it dropped to $50. But back then it was a close-bidding system and now it's open-bidding and it's still happening.

Maybe the authorities are going to delve into the matter and uncover the reasons. But how much can they do in this free market system where demand simply does not meet supply?

No, I am not going to succumb to temptation and impulsively get into a car-frenzy. Afterall, my plans are not secured for the next 1 year so why make a purchase and chain myself to depreciating liability?

Wait and see wait and see.
For now...

Study!

1 thing led to another...

2008-11-19T23:24:00.004+08:00

I was looking for my German friend's email on my Mail to send her an email... and after I typed a quick one to send my regards, my attention drifted and went to look at some of the previous mails that I've sent about... 1.5years ago..

found some long time missing photos as such this one...

and well, some other emails that really triggered some memories and realised just how much has happened over a year plus and that my time away in France, seems to have put a clean cut between the past and the present. Well, not too sure if it remains that way. Certain things changed, and others remained just as ambiguous as it had been..

argh. feeling heavy hearted and distracted from studies for a while. Good and Bad. Good that it brought me back and forth these years and well, bad, I should really be studying and revising.

well well. time and tide wait for no man.

joy of living

2008-11-19T14:26:00.005+08:00

Oh what joy it is to revise with the cool east-ward breeze coming from stormy west, with the leaves rustling beyond my sills and the sounds of crickets and birds sounding along Rod Stewarts'.

rain slithering down the windows, encouraging such creeping melancholia.

Well, at least this is one consolation for studying.

Schadenfreude

2008-11-17T22:19:00.001+08:00

Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude
Schadenfreude

Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose
Purpose

Read only if desired

2008-11-14T22:02:00.002+08:00

Disclaimer: this following entry needs to be heavily contextualised and thereafter understood.
Caution: Lame-ness detected.

*walking to Kent Ridge Interchange after bumping into each other at AS7 computer lab.

Jessica: So many people got A in the class for the book review.

Des: ya... got A- very sad already. but at least got A la.. not that bad.

Jessica: ya lor, those get B will be very sad...

*crosses the road at the exit of the Eusoff Hall carpark and bus service A2 suddenly pops out of the corner heading to exit gantry.

Jessica: OH MY GOD.

*both moves away quickly...
*crosses the road swiftly and Bus B appears

*almost simultaneously...

Des: well! at least if we get hit by the bus... we get hit by A and not B!

Jessica: hahaha that's VERY funny.

Des: totally lame but I like this joke. hahaha

Alright, it's the weekend. wind down a little. you may now slam me for this lame joke, if you don't get it, it's not your fault. no worries. :)

anyway, it's end of the work week so gain some positive karma! :)

买木瓜，买西瓜

2008-11-12T15:35:00.002+08:00

Context:

swam finished 50laps in an hour at the Sports and Recreational Centre (SRC) in school and felt damn hungry. Went to the Yusoff Ishak House (YIH) canteen to grab some fruits and as follows, the conversation took place at the "Fruits, Juices, Salad" stall...............

我: Auntie, 给我一片西瓜，一片木瓜。

她: 什么？什么西瓜，什么木瓜？

我: (看着西瓜木瓜) 哦⋯⋯ 这一个⋯⋯

我:给我一片西瓜，一片木瓜。要切片的。

她:这里吃还是拿走？

我:这里。

她:还有什么？

我:一个agar agar

她:什么颜色？

我:橙色。

她:还要什么？

我:一杯豆奶。

她:什么？

我:哦⋯⋯一杯soya bean。

她:还有呢？

我:没有了。

她:块八。

我:噢。谢谢。心里想着 "Auntie, 你有这个必要那么angsty吗？"

it was almost coma-ish

2008-11-11T17:43:00.002+08:00

I faced the screen for about 3hours till after lunch, and decided to lie face down on my bed to rest my eyes. I did not expect myself to fall into deep sleep for 3hours with momentary consciousness. Each time I tried to wake up, the deeper I fall back into sleep. Even dreamt about some weird In Camp Training that I was to attend but was late for one day, with 2 guys from various points of my life, one, a primary school classmate and another, a brother of a secondary school junior who were on guard duty but seemingly not too sure who I was. Sucks... and I finally managed to wake up from this semi-coma.
Feeling all light headed now.

At least the strain on my neck is gone.

yummy.

2008-11-02T16:38:00.001+08:00

it starts today.

2008-11-02T11:56:00.001+08:00

It is 34 days, 19 hours, 30 minutes and 10 seconds until Sunday 7 December 2008, 07 h 30 m 00 (Singapore time)

(as of now)

and training starts today.

Well, it really isn't the time

2008-10-27T01:45:00.002+08:00

Truth is, I've a deadline this Friday and another on Wednesday. I plan to skip school on Wednesday given that the more important lecture is cancelled as my prof will be in Barcelona. So, lessons start at 5pm tp 6pm for a Q&A tutorial, followed by dinner break from 6-7pm and then lecture from 7-9pm (which I most probably will skip the entire day)

I've another deadline next Friday, make that two actually. One completed last week but changes are to be made, another not started at all but a group work with two other friends.

I should really be worrying now instead of

1) playing tennis and swimming tomorrow
2) giving tuition on Tuesday
3) playing badminton on Wednesday
4) giving tuition on Thursday...

Hmmm life's been hectic and I barely have time for myself and my work, and yet i'm here blogging at this hour.

hahah

time for some work.

Random photos on a Saturday

2008-10-25T11:41:00.002+08:00

These fancy things will never come in between...

2008-10-24T01:34:00.004+08:00

Because...

when the sun shines we'll shine together...
now that it's raining more than ever,
know that we'll still have each other...

Found a few other versions of this originally-detested but now grown to appreciate song =)

http://cs1030.vkontakte.ru/u562695/audio/5207fdf5e7.mp3

If there is any kind souls out there who has this song, please send me!!! (oops.. am I encouraging piracy?)

Never been more productive

2008-10-20T22:57:00.002+08:00

Spend the entire day doing work at home since I've no school and that the sun wasn't shining... and I completed a book review of 1800 words and another individual essay for my outside faculty module, 1500 words.

Boy it's tiring to write essays.

Another 3 more essays to go. For now, it's time to give my eyes a break. else I may just fall back into the specs-days.

*shudders* scary thought.

and the school does not compensate for the deterioration of your vision.

next pit stop...

2008-10-20T01:12:00.001+08:00

now there's shaved ice (taiwanese style) at my hangout place!!

had the sesame one, not too bad... next time shall go try the green tea w azuki. hehehe

fucked up friday

2008-10-17T10:04:00.002+08:00

Lift over crowded occupied by one elder in wheelchair.
Slow moving van occupying the right lane meant for faster vehicles.
Traffic light in school not helping in regulation of the vehicles but instead slowing things down.
Girls queuing outside their classroom which happens to be the regular place for people queuing to release their print jobs, without saying anything about them waiting for the class to start.
Print release machine does not work the moment it reaches my turn and I have to wait for ten minutes and now

I'm fucking late for class.

Darn it

shouldn't have

2008-10-12T19:18:00.002+08:00

Somethings should not have been done... and one of it was taking a nap.

I was feeling tired, accumulated fatigue from the gruelling week's schedule.. an hour and a half and now I wake up with a fucking headache.Throbbing and hurting.

This feeling sucks so much and it's the end of the week.

ouch

哼

2008-10-04T00:28:00.000+08:00

到底是先孤独再寂寞，还是先寂寞再孤独⋯⋯

pacification

2008-10-03T00:05:00.003+08:00

The cry of a baby warrants food or attention.

An infant cries and you give him a sweet or a toy.

A child throws a tantrum and you give in to him.

A friend feels down and you promise that the term 'friends forever' really exists.

What do you do when you see me sad and down? When you see me emo-ing my time away?

As we go on in life, the things that make us happy change. Its simplicity vanishes and more and more we question what makes us really happy.

Am I really happy or am I just not sad? Perhaps the state of neutrality?

Leave me alone and I'll figure a way out myself? Perhaps it'll work this time, maybe it won't.

Friends, sometimes I'm not as stone-hearted as I seem.

Well. We'll see, we'll see.

feeling damn emo now.

2008-10-01T22:45:00.000+08:00

I got started on the road to nowhere.

2008-09-29T18:14:00.004+08:00

Finally, I took the first important step to writing my essay. My social movements and collective behaviour term paper.

Well, I feel happy that I finally broke the inertia and moments of procrastination. Satisfied may perhaps be a better word here rather than happy. What so happy about being a step (or days) closing to the deadline as well as the gruelling process of churning out 12 pages of words?

hmmm... *scratches head*

Mont St. Michel, France

Woot!

2008-09-27T21:53:00.002+08:00

I just played badminton at SAFRA Mt. Fab and ouch... feeling the existence of the previously forgotten muscle group. haha

hmmm anyway, my eyes are doing fine, thak you. I see well, 6/6 vision just like Superman does and common side effects like halos slowly setting in especially at night... everythings' going fine and well.

on a side note, the F1 cars are really making quite a scene in the city. I can hear them screeching around and well, after all, they are here for just a weekend. Singapore is definitely making itself known in the world as my friend in Paris just googled to find out more about us after seeing Singapore on the TV back in France.

cool.

well, i'm playing badminton again this wednesday, this time in school (for free).

anyone out there who wants to join me for a game, I have some 4 badminton rackets (including mine) so yup, we can always go to SAFRA to sweat it out.

let me know.

des

不再带有色眼镜

2008-09-25T17:43:00.002+08:00

gone are these days. Farewell my beloved specs and contact lenses...

good bye to the days where I wake up fumbling for my visual aids.

adieu to those times of insecurity of contact lenses + water.

Well.. now I can look (clearly) forward to the next thing in life.

:)

and soon...

2008-09-24T22:47:00.001+08:00

it'll be the dawn of a brand new life...

Quote from today's seminar

2008-09-22T21:23:00.002+08:00

“The problem comes not from being friends with (participants) but from acting as a friend yet not living up to the obligations of friendship.”

Oh how true...

Des Calanques, Marseille, France

Random post at the end of a busy weekend.

2008-09-15T01:24:00.005+08:00

I had many thoughts these 2 days, of potential topics that I could bring up on this virtual space that supposedly belongs to me. Alphabets and words that hold me responsible the moment I click on 'publish'. Well of course, as you will come to see, there is none of these mentioned 'topics' that I can remember singly off my mind. It's a void at this current moment.

Out of reach.

At this current point in time, the figures are promising but it is really quite some distance to go for certain benchmarks in life to be met. For sure, I got started and am certainly pleased about it. Others, no matter how hard I try it doesn't seem to get any closer.

I spend so much time trying to reach that point in time, that I do not know if I am missing the current 'me' at all. So many times we are working towards something, someone we want to be or some kind of lifestyle that we want.. we can so consumed by this monster ideology and end up... losing the 'now-time'.

The 'me-time' for emo-ing, the 'now-time' for really picking out what is important now and not something that is probably going to happen in 10years' time. actually, I'm starting to lose quite some bit of that emotional baggage. Getting a little too consumed in life's imbroglio...

So, think about this...
If each and everyone of us is supposedly paired with someone... and that person is there for us to search for... how much do you go on searching for this missing faceless figure? there has to come a point where you give up and settle for what is really not that faceless identity and go for a convenient substitute. does it feel complete? does it even feel right?

Back to 'out of reach', in such a scenario, there are certain issues that are out of reach and that includes people. So what if they have their own agencies? Most do not exercise it. Others use so much of it... it sickens me, rendering me useless.

*sidenote, when my left arm is relaxed, this particularly small muscle right above the inner elbow twitches uncontrollably. And it's funny I can see and feel it but can't control it.

If this goes on longer... I'm really blabbering nonsense.

Get a blow up doll and hug it to sleep.

ça fait déjà un an

2008-09-11T20:33:00.004+08:00

mmmm... Raffles Hotel's truffle champagne mooncake is nice!
hahaha

n well, i am going to say again...

"you know Singapore is getting too small when every step you take someone is blocking your way"...

paris me manque.

The thing about truth...

2008-09-11T01:03:00.001+08:00

The truth is...

"truths are fragmented".

(learnt from my gek module in architecture)

Looking back

2008-09-08T20:31:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow marks the first year of the first day I left for Paris.

How quickly this one year has walked on without bringing me along. Thought that it would be kind enough to let me dwell a little longer in my vacations and yet, harshly and abruptly ejected back into reality. Being caught up with my desperate attempt to juggle school assignments and private life. Well, perhaps not-so-private and not-so-alive "private life".

It seems really that grass over there is greener. Wherever subjectively you are speaking and looking at.

What the heck.

I miss Paris.

呵

2008-09-06T18:02:00.002+08:00

真相是我们时不时都会⋯⋯

感情用事。

《升》

Just found it.

2008-09-04T23:07:00.002+08:00

Since I am in a 讲华语行动

Found this!

Something's blocking and you can't speak.

2008-09-04T14:05:00.002+08:00

I think I swallowed a cockroach in my sleep. Perhaps not just once but a few times.

Revulsion. Repugnance. Abhorrence. Detestation. Hate. (Whatever you want to call it) Cockroaches are definitely not an item on my entré... non merci.

Sounds disgusting hur? At the rate that I'm killing cockroaches that invade my room for all sorts of purposes (including the one main reason of irritating and challenging me), I think I probably ate at least 3 of them in my sleep (those who mananged to get away from the range of my 0.5mm muzzle Baygon.

Not that they get away very often. Mostly, they are drowned in Baygon and thereafter the royal blue waters of my toilet bowl. What a glorious death to be washed down into the mysterious darkness.

Well, point is, I am feeing this sore at a particular nook along my throat and it feels like something is lodged there. Maybe the feelers could be used as floss.

Bleah. Don't ask me why I'm writing 'dedicating' time to write an entry on cockroaches when I hate them so much that it urks me to spell out the term this world has given it.

不只是⋯⋯

2008-09-04T02:29:00.002+08:00

别笑我蠢

傻傻地心痛

也不觉得痛

就算天冷

就算残忍

当你想起这没有用的人⋯⋯

The monotony of a student life.

2008-09-03T23:14:00.003+08:00

Ever since the commencement of classes say 3 weeks ago, some say 4 weeks, I have not been very much of an active person. Partly due to my eyes as they are still (I consider) recovering and the other major part, academic life of a student exposed to wearisome school life.

I doubt that I have to go into details of a typical day I go through but routined life style isn't exactly what I like. BUT I've no choice but to go through it now (till next May). Well, I chose this so I can't complain. Either I do it or I don't do it. Chose to do it, shut up and accept it. Else, don't do... Well, they better pay me well next time for this assignment loaded semesters that I have to go through.

*deep breaths*...

I need a life, some sun, some free time and just a little bit of love.

Best so far

2008-08-31T22:57:00.004+08:00

Maybe not the running kind of best as I did stopped a few times due to the strain and fatigue I felt in both my legs...given the immobility for the past 3 weeks I think it is not that bad a run though.

BUT this is definitely the BEST 10km I've ran. it was quite spectacular and a statement to be running along with say.. 9 999 other people? or are there more? I'm not too sure but in a sea of red and everywhere you turn you see red. People running, walking, jogging etc... Music along the scenic route and well,

definitely feels good at the end to cross the finishing line.

:) I'm a happy runner for now.

Ok, anyway who wants to run the stan chart 1/2 marathon at the end of the yr?

I have foresight.

2008-08-31T00:25:00.001+08:00

ça va être fatigant.

Although it's only Saturday (or early Sunday morning), I'm already feeling the fatigue of the coming week.

It is going to be tiring.

:(

First day at school...

2008-08-19T22:48:00.000+08:00

First official lesson day in school after a loooooooonnnnnnnnnng break, and it rained. It drizzled actually. but well, it was wet. thankfully I was in jeans and shoes (somehow I feel overdressed in this attire nowadays when I'm in school). It used to be ok. like ok. but now it is more of.. OKay... geddit?

well anyway, apart from the rain and wet conditions, the moment I stepped outta the shuttle bus, blocked by students desperately attempting to get up the bus to snatch for the void I left behind, I could only step onto a particularly moist and slippery slope.. which result in me slipping slightly, knocking into someon (no idea if it's a guy or girl, well who cares right?)

and then, walking to class and being blocked by people of all colours. Well, today I wasn't in cap like yesterday (where I went to school to buy coursepacks etc)... and well, I was still mostly avoiding glances as I'm not too used to my looks yet and well, it's still in the process of recovery and hence.. not that natural looking yet. I swear if they are all webcasted I would stay at home to study. Why why why....

Of course I can ask all sorts of questions about why my eyelids are born this way, why born w single eyelids that have eyelashes that grow in such manner that cause me to have inconveniences little people have a hint of...etc etc etc. But come to think about it, I've been pretty positive (or non-chalant) about it. My life, my choice. Do with what has been given to you. There are people who ask, why? Isnt what you have now good enough? vanity sake? convenience sake? "aiyah, you just want to look good right?"... well, I don't see a need to convince people of what I do to my life. All that matters is, I come to accept the change. Whether people do or otherwise, I've learnt, doesn't really matter. They've no choice. hahahaa

Nah, not into the nagging mood. So anyway, to those who had already started school, all the best in this semester...

Damn the cockroach that just ran past my notes. Drown in the toilet bowl you disgusting lifeless (by now) filthy creature.