Thursday, March 29, 2007

fucked up

Haha... irony irony.

Just when I thought things are getting better.

I missed my flight. Yes. I missed it. Don't even ask me why or how it happened. Don't wish to think about it or push the blame to anyone or anything.

I am just feeling that something bigger than me, something beyond my comprehension is telling me that it is all fated.

Right now, I just feel like sleeping. Call me an idiot. I want to run away by hiding under my bedsheets. I want to be like a young boy again and cry. Just for one night, just for one time. Let me cry. (Update: No. I did not cry... not that weak yet)

Don't even feel like asking "Why?"...

Maybe because I don't want to hear the answers, whether they are nice or otherwise.

Perhaps I can take the time to do my essay. SC3101. yes... Maybe I can take the time to clean up the house and my room before my mum comes back from M'sia... Maybe I can take this time to prepare myself for the exams...

I'm irritated. My face is flushed. I felt sick and my heart was heavy. I felt like vomiting. My day is destroyed. I feel empty. And I see a lot of questions heading my direction from various people. I just don't have any answers and even if I do, I don't feel like sharing it with you, can?

Give me my space.

Merci

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